What Now!?

You may remember that late last year I published a blog titled, “House of Horrors”, about the rats who had turned the crawl space under our house into their personal Romper Room. Well, this time there’s an added twist. No rats, but something much bigger!

Monday was trash day. Right after Kim left for work I went outside to take the trash and recycle cans to the curb when the sight of dirt, having been flung onto the carport parking pad, caught my eye. Oh what fresh hell is this!? For some unknown reason there is a small section between the lanai and the parking pad that is asphalt, rather than cement, which makes this a particularly vulnerable place for a home invasion of wildlife.

Right there before me was a fairly large hole that had been dug by a serious digger! I could see claw marks, but no real tracks, however there was a very clear tail drag! There are only so many critters that have the ability to dig ferociously, have a tail that could leave such a mark, and that live here in south Florida. After doing a lot of research, here are my choices.

An armadillo. It is a superior digger and has a long tail that it drags behind him. The hole is large enough, and though I haven’t seen one in my neighborhood, my daughter’s neighbor has one in his yard, so they’re around. The good thing about one being under the house is they eat bugs. I can get behind that. Feel free to clean up the area. The bad thing is they are powerful earth movers and a lot of times will go through things, rather than around, including pipes and wires. We live in a mobile home, so the only pipes connecting us to the ground are water and sewer. That could be a problem. As for wiring, that’s all self-contained, except where we hook into Florida Power & Light, but that’s not buried. At some point we could find ourselves without water, but at least we’ll have air conditioning. There is no bait for an armadillo and the only way to remove them is with a trap. Not easy to trap something you can’t bait and who can easily dig his way out of any prison. If it is an armadillo and he remains a quiet downstairs neighbor, we won’t bother him.

It could be a possum. The tail drag fits. They are not too cute, but they are good neighbors. They eat insects, fallen fruit, and most importantly, mice. Perfect! However, my research shows they do not have the hands required to dig a hole of this nature, unless the soil were really loose. Kim found claw marks that swallowed his house key, so we can probably rule out a possum.

Perhaps a gopher tortoise. They live here and are protected. You have to have a permit to even have them removed from your property. They can dig large burrows, but unless this is a juvenile, I’m not sure this hole is big enough. They have a tail, but not a long one, which this critter appears to have, so though a possibility, not a probability. I’m scratching his name off the list.

A python was quickly ruled out, because I wanted it to be! Though technically their entire body is a long tail, they are not equipped either to dig a hole such as this. Believe me, I checked! Besides, the tail drag wasn’t thick enough. In case you need to know, snakes don’t dig holes. They commandeer holes dug by others, if they enter a hole at all. Mostly they bury themselves under leaves, in crevasses of rocks, or in trees. Be mindful of that on your next stroll.

My last thought is an iguana. They do dig burrows, they have very long sharp claws, and though once again, I haven’t seen one in my neighborhood, they have been spotted in the area. They eat a large amount of plant material, and we have plenty in our yard. I actually wouldn’t mind the prospect if they would consider taking on some of the weeds. However, I haven’t seen any evidence that my huge hibiscus trees, or my giant bird of paradise has been bothered by anyone snacking on them.

I would love to set up a trail cam to capture an image of what it is. For now we appear to be living symbiotically. If I stumble over it in a dark hallway in the middle of the night, it’s getting an immediate eviction notice, by whatever means is deemed necessary.