Mother’s Day is coming up, sending most of us into a panicked rush to the store looking for the right card. Do I go with funny or sappy? Do I send flowers, chocolate, both, or something unusual? I do appreciate personal words of love and gratitude from my kids, and whichever way I go with my own mom, I make sure to include those special words to her as well.
I read recently in the Reader’s Digest that if you had to hire someone to do all the work a mom does it would cost $67,619 a year. That’s pretty specific! There was a list of those tasks a mom handles in a day, but I noticed that something was missing amongst the cooking and cleaning. Those are the tangible things, but so much of being a mom is intangible, but ever so valuable. Mom’s have to do so much more than just show up. Being a mom is 24/7 for life, but it isn’t a sentence. It’s a privilege.
When my son was in first grade he struggled with reading. I could have made that the teacher’s problem. Some parents do, but instead we sat together every night, reading every book he had to read the next day in school. He stumbled with Helmut and Olga. Really? What happened to Dick, Jane, and Spot? No wonder he was struggling! I could barely get my mouth around those names. But, night after night he got better, faster, and it became easier, and now reading is one of his favorite pastimes. Hours well spent for a lifetime of discovery and adventure through the pages of books.
When my daughter was in the 4th grade she wasn’t putting much energy into school. I just wanted her to care. She defiantly announced that she didn’t care about her grades. Well, I cared! I was determined that I would stick by her side, check her work, insist she did her best, or she would do it again! One day, either out of resignation that I would not stop, or finally getting why it was important, she cared! She went on to graduate from college Magna Cum Laude.
I wasn’t the perfect mom. I probably hovered too much. Didn’t let them fall enough. But, what I did well was believe in them and all that they were capable of. I would teach them, encourage them. I would never give up on them. Not then, and not now. That’s what mom’s do. The chores are extra.
My daughter said to me the other day that this will be her first Mother’s Day. I understood what she meant. This was her time, her day to be special to her family. I was not hurt that she wouldn’t be here to celebrate with me. After all, it’s been some time since I’ve spent Mother’s Day with my own mom. The torch has been passed, though once a mom, always a mom.
My mom has cancer. I don’t know if this will be my last Mother’s Day to decide to send chocolate or flowers, to find the right card, and say the right words, or if I will get another Mother’s Day to get it right. My mom might not be the perfect mom, but she is perfectly my mom. I will always celebrate her no matter what the day, no matter how far away she is.
Perfect. You expressed the feelings of every good mom I know. There are never any certainties or guarantees about how long we’ll have our moms, but we carry them with us wherever we go for every day we spend on this earth.
Thank you Martha. I know you have experienced the “uncertainties” & lack of “guarantees”, but you had a good example & you’ve set one yourself.
Again I cry when I read your blog. Mothers give and give without expectation, but it is mother’s day that we try to sum it all up. You said it well as usual. That’s for the sharing the emotions.
I am glad when my words can touch personal emotions in all who read them. I hope your tears envelop all the emotions of being a mom & loving your mom.