Threading The Needle

I was sitting on the couch the other evening, attempting to thread a needle, a pair of inexpensive reader glasses perched on my nose. My arms moved farther away from my face and then closer in an attempt to find the sweet spot where everything was in focus. I could say that threading a needle is a challenge for anyone, but the fact is it’s gotten more difficult over the years, even with my glasses on. When did my eyesight decide to take a powder?

Long ago, when I was a small child, I wore blue and white striped glasses, terribly chic I’m sure for a 6-year-old, in order to see anything that wasn’t 100+ yards away. As my eyes “matured” I was able to ditch those glasses. A common thing they say. I still leaned toward farsightedness, but I could actually see things at all distances clearly, and that’s exactly how I liked it. 20/15 vision…more than perfect!

I enjoyed my eagle eyes. I could read road signs a block ahead, which made navigating fairly easy, but it seemed like overnight the road signs went blurry. I rushed to the ophthalmologist, sure that something was horribly wrong, only to be informed that as we “age” this happens. Well, when did I suddenly “age”?!

My distance vision was reduced! By the time I could read a road sign clearly I was nearly past it! As for my near vision, I was needing a longer arm to find that sweet spot. At Mass it was easier if Kim held the hymnal in front of him. I could see it fine there. Seems my eyes were barely working at all! Time to get some tools to rectify the situation.

I have acquired a collection of cute, non-prescription reading glasses from Wal-Mart. I have a black pair with crystals next to the sofa, a tortoise-shell pair next to the bed, a funky speckled pair in the car, a red pair in my purse, and a blue pair on the desk next to the computer. They are even different strengths. The greater the number, the more magnification. I need +1.5 to read a book, because you hold that closer to your face. The ones for the computer are +1 because it’s farther away. As you can see, I still lean more farsighted. But, that doesn’t solve the problem. When I drive I need distance glasses. Those are out of the “over the counter” wheelhouse and I had to go prescription. I have three pairs of those. Two are clear. One is a backup pair, and one pair is sunglasses. With those my eagle eyes are back! Of course I can’t read the speedometer with them on, but I’ve adapted.

Mass is still a challenge. I have to lay my glasses out on the pew. Readers for the hymns, and distance ones so I can see the priest. Logic dictates that things might be a bit easier and far less cumbersome if I just went with bifocals. Are you kidding? That would mean I have “aged”.