I was on my way to I-75 the other day, when I saw one of those portable flashing road signs that the police use to warn you about how fast you’re driving before you get a ticket, or that road construction crews temporarily erect for a small repair job, alerting you at the very last-minute that the lane you are driving in is closed in less distance than it takes to stop a bicycle! This sign, however, was flashing with this mandate, “You Must Stop At Red Lights”, followed by “Do Not Run Red Lights”. Really? Are people actually driving around out there that don’t know this?!
This is south Florida, and though we have a deluge of snowbirds and an inordinate number of foreigners, I’m pretty sure that red lights have a universal meaning, except perhaps in Rome, where they really do seem to be merely a notable suggestion. If this sign is necessary, perhaps the practice of renewing our driver’s license online, without a quiz to see if we remember the rules should be revisited, rather than an on-the-road, behind the wheel refresher! On second thought, perhaps it isn’t such a bad idea.
Here are a few signs I wouldn’t mind seeing on the road. “Driving more than 5 mph under the speed limit makes you a road hazard!” “Driving 10 mph over the speed limit also makes you a road hazard!” “Changing lanes without using your turn signal assumes we’re all mind-readers!” “This is not Daytona, and you are not that good!” “Texting while driving makes you a special kind of stupid!”
Driving is probably one of the most dangerous things we do in ordinary, daily life. It is not a contact sport and it is not a race. We all need to practice a little patience and human kindness, and if we all get to where we’re going without “boom, boom, crunch, crunch”, we all win. If you need to be reminded to stop at a red light, immediately pull over, turn off your car, remove the keys and then throw them as far as you can. You really shouldn’t be driving!