Checking For Shadows

Palmetto bugs are the behemoths of the insect world! I don’t care what nice sounding name you give these creatures, the ugly truth, they are giant cockroaches!!!

I know these things are just about everywhere and I’ve seen more than my fair share in Arizona, but Florida seems to be synonymous with these bugs that have eluded evolution and extinction. Oh, don’t get sappy on me! You can preach all about the importance of every creature to the balance of the environment until one surprises you in your kitchen, and then it’s all about extinction, baby!! Maybe not the entire species, but for sure that particular one.

I’ve lived in Florida now for almost two years. Our pest control is pretty good, so when I found my first dead cockroach on the floor as I swept, I was a little surprised. That evening, after a walk, I entered the kitchen to catch a flash of movement across the calendar! We both froze! I don’t know what Godzilla did, after all, I’m at the top of the food chain, but I screamed like a little girl, followed closely by, “Kim! Get out here now!!!” He chased it down with a paper towel. Are you kidding me?! There isn’t enough paper towel on that entire roll to put between me and that beast! A baseball bat would have been a better weapon of choice! Just recounting the experience leaves my skin crawling and checking for shadows!

The next day I was looking at my cat. She sat in the bedroom doorway,  just casually gazing at me, totally oblivious to the lump laying on the carpet in front of her. I wasn’t though. It was another cockroach! This one alive, but thankfully moving slowly. He was no match for my shoe! I disposed of him and gave my cat a fierce look, making it perfectly clear that she was not hired to catnap all day! She darn well better step it up and earn her keep! Lazy cat!

A week later pest control showed up, as he does several times a year. I told him about the recent invasion. I noticed a hint of smile, as he educated me on the life cycle and sex life of a palmetto bug. Interesting, but I was more interested in his plan to keep them outside. He assured me that though they will come in on occasion when outdoor conditions are not to their liking, such as our recent heavy rains, they must be outdoors to live. That’s for sure, because I have a shoe right where I can get at it, and I’m not afraid to use it!