A year ago I wrote a blog called Bonus Years, about celebrating my father-in-law’s 90th birthday, and how blessed we are to share the years that go beyond the norm. Bonus years.
My father-in-law, Lou, looked 15 years younger than his age and acted that much younger as well. He was very active and you would never know by looking at him just how old he was. He was a young 90, until suddenly he wasn’t. And just like that, he was gone.
Lou was of old Italian stock. Lost his dad when he was only nine. His mom, an Italian immigrant, spoke little English, and was left alone with three kids. Lou was the oldest. From the stories I’ve heard, he helped his mom as best he could, but he was just a kid, and a boy with a lot of energy. Barely a man he joined the Air Force (Army Air Corp) in WWII and became a tail gunner with the renowned Flying Tigers. Proud he was of that service, and we are too. Following that he worked on the railroad and told stories of firing coal, spewing black soot and ash when coming across fresh laundry hanging on any clothesline that dared to be near the tracks. He laughed, thought it was funny, all the while grinning like a mischievious teenager. Surely many women did not find him amusing. He was no choir boy. Later he became a professor at Arizona State University, where he taught industrial technology. Love him or hate him, if you were in his class, you learned. He became a deacon in the Catholic Church. We watched him build a mission church in an area of Phoenix where residents found it difficult to find God anywhere. He made sure they had a place where they could, and enlisted their help, so there was neighborhood pride and ownership in what they had accomplished.
To us, his family, he was a source of support, encouragement, and a little too opinionated! We all enjoyed the first two of these. Not so much that third one. He raised three sons, endured three daughter-in-laws, spoiled and teased seven grandchildren, and delighted in four great-grandchildren. He was proud of each one of us. Admired our individual gifts and talents, encouraged us to be the best that we could be, and offered his opinion when it wasn’t asked for, on just about every subject. He excelled at love and was married to my mother-in-law for 66 years. He was Italian! He was the Patriarch of a 21st century family. Not an easy task, but he’d had lots of practice. You see, he’d been the patriarch since he was nine. It was not his duty. It was his destiny.
When I think about the war stories he told and how many times I heard, “Did I tell you about the time…?” He had in fact, several times, but each time I would listen, maybe not so patiently. Now, I would give anything to hear those stories, just one more time. On Saturday Lou would have been 91. He had been with us for so long that we thought we would have him forever. Our patriarch has gone to the Kingdom, but we will carry on, because he taught us that together we are strong. Together we are family.
Arrivederci Lou, Dad , Nonno. See ya on the other side.
