I grew up in the desert southwest, so when my husband and I moved to south Florida my family pretty much freaked out about the local fauna, particularly those that seem intent on putting me on the menu. There’s the obvious ones like alligators and sharks. Then there are the snakes! These don’t really want to dine on me, but there is this one guy who has potential.
If I say Florida you may think Disney World, NASA, Key West, and the Everglades. You might also think humidity and hurricanes. A story for another time. News flash! Florida means alligators. They are exciting, fascinating, yet dangerous creatures, and oh so very cool! Watching them is like gazing through a looking-glass into a world long past. Hard to believe they were once endangered. Victims of fear and over hunting. But, they are survivors and have made such a remarkable comeback that they have been removed from the list. My son has a saying, “If there is water, there are gators”. A mantra I’ve adopted myself. It’s quite a treat to see alligators in the wild, but wise to stay alert for Captain Hook’s nemesis. Oh wait! That’s a crocodile. We have those too, but don’t tell my family. Much urban legend surrounds the alligator. I’m told they can run very fast. They can’t, but they can make a good show of it for about 50 feet. I’ve also heard you should run away in a zigzag pattern, because gators can not. In fact, you should just run away. A straight line will carry you farther faster. That’s the goal. Choose that one! Here are some truths. They can jump! What?! It’s both amazing and horrifying! They are powerful swimmers and in the water they are most intimidating. Alligators only hunt in the water. Good to know! Humans are not on their menu, but things happen. So, stay alert, give him space, and point out the tasty turtle to his left.
Snakes are not so cool. I know some people love them, but I’m not one. I’m not sure why my desert family worries so much about snakes. They have snakes of their own. Florida is home to six kinds of venomous snakes, but only four of them live in south Florida. The one I think has my family freaked out is not venomous. It is also not native. The Burmese Python. It’s thought that Hurricane Andrew destroyed a breeding facility, which may have been how some of them ended up in the Everglades. Others were pets dumped there when they became too big to handle. You know what I think? A snake is not a pet my friend! These pythons are among the world’s largest snakes. They can grow to 18 feet! They have big teeth and squeeze their prey to death. When you see one of these behemoths tussle with an alligator, well that is nightmare fodder and I want no part of it! By nature Burmese pythons are afraid of humans. That makes us even. We’ve all heard the news stories of things having gone very, very bad. Florida is trying to eradicate these pythons. Until they do there is no reason to be irrational about them, but they are way up there on the ick factor!
Finally sharks! Sharks can be found in waters around the world. This is an apex predator with some serious swagger! It is natural to be afraid. Anybody who says they aren’t is lying! For those truly afraid, the pool is a safer bet. No shame there. We like to think these big boys patrol the deep waters, somewhere well beyond where we are swimming. Though that isn’t always true, the statistics on shark attacks are in our favor. My daughter and I spied a dorsal fin in the shallow water off the beach where we had just been swimming. Curious and alert she asked, “Dolphin or shark?” That’s the million dollar question, now isn’t it! I wanted to say dolphin, but the sideways movement of the tail gave away his true identity. What to do? Nothing. By the time swimmers could be alerted to his presence he would be long up the coast before they could move out of his way. Fortunately he was just sightseeing. If you can believe what they “say” on Shark Week and not what they “show” us, we know that we are not meant to be on the buffet. There is no reason to cancel your Florida vacation or to stay out of the water, but the following fact needs some perspective. Turns out Florida is the shark bite capital of the United States. The state has a vast coastline, second only to Alaska, plus the sheer number of people in the water here makes this a statistical long shot. The Bull Shark! We’re going to blame him. He isn’t a finicky eater, has some questionable eyesight in the turbid water stirred up by swimmers, and is just plain bad mannered. He might mistakenly rip your leg off thinking you are some sort of mutant tuna. “My bad!” Accident or not, I’m going to need that back! Good thing I don’t work for the Chamber of Commerce and I no longer watch Shark Week!
My family might have some legitimate concerns, though unlikely ones. We’re always afraid of the things we don’t really understand and seriously dislike being on the food chain, accidental or otherwise. My new neighbors and I have an understanding. I don’t eat them and they don’t eat me. So far it’s working well.